A DEMOCRACY OF HYPOCRISY

In the last sixty years our society has been slowly but surely evolving. Many evils have been eradicated and a lot of positive things have become a part of our culture, knowingly or otherwise.

But the one thing that has remained stagnant is our level of hypocrisy.

Indians just love to judge, pass comments and stereotype people. We have an opinion on everything, be it sex or sensex.

We are free advisors to anybody and everybody and we will continue to preach and nag them even if they are not interested.

But the sad reality is that no matter how or what advice we give; we fail to apply it on ourselves.

We do not have the guts to judge ourselves. Simply put, it is our typical attribute.

For instance, a guy will immediately declare a girl “character less” (I am using a much milder phrase) if she sleeps around with men, but if the guy himself beds girls frequently, he will be looked upon as a “Casanova.”

Further, if someone offers prayers to god five times a day, he is a respected and an “honest” person. It does not matter then if he cheats on his wife and is a pathetic father.

The society would not mind him being a male chauvinist who beats his children and wife for no particular reason. People will look the other way if he marries off his 17 year old daughter because she is a “Bojh” on his shoulders.

All these things do not build our opinion, what matters to us is that he is a “Shareef Aadmi.”

Our society especially the elders, still relate consuming liquor and smoking to evil. They frown upon these things even today. If a young boy takes to it he will be swiftly declared a "Spolit" boy. I specifically said BOY because girls cannot booze or fag even in their wildest of dreams. It is just unacceptable.

Interestingly, the 'opposers' are the same people who had themselves indulged in such things at school or college time. But now they are grown ups which in India means a license to preach, have the right to judge others.

Another social evil which defines hypocrisy is Dowry. I have witnessed cases where families were harassed and troubled for dowry when they wanted to get their daughter married.

The suffering they endured was traumatic. But again, in a surprising turn of events when it was time for their own son to get married, they were worse than their tormentors.

Moving on, my friend became a proud uncle of a baby boy last month. When he came to my place with a box of “Rasgullas” he proudly declared that how he with his family had gone on a pilgrimage to “Vaishno Devi” and had prayed for a baby boy. “Mata ka Prasaad hain” (referring to the baby boy) the fool said smugly.

People chant “Jai MATA Di” but want a son. We worship and wash little girls feet on the festival of “Kanjake” but at the same time we do not want our wives or daughter-in-laws to give birth to a daughter.

A lady will fast on “Karwa Chauth” to prove her dedication and love for her husband and at the same time convinces him to leave his aged parents alone by emotionally blackmailing him.

If an earning, elder male member (father) of a family expires suddenly and god forbid there is no male successor in the family all hell breaks loose.

It is the “duty” of all the distant family members to give tips on how the poor mother should take care of her kids especially DAUGHTERS.

Instead of filling the shoes of the deceased, the relatives act as if the family is now depended on them for everything and suddenly they develop a superiority complex which is obviously fueled by economics.

If any of the daughters dares to befriend a male, an immediate judgment is passed, “Ye haath se nikal gayi hain, naak katwaayegi sabki”.

There will be unnecessary taunts like; “Dhyaan rakhna, kahi hawa na lag jaaye.”

They act as if till now the girls were growing up on their own and none of the parents cared to impart values in them. There will be advices form chacha, bua, foofa, taaya, mama and every possible corner.

These taunts are carefully laced with a pretence of care. Interestingly, these advisors themselves do not have even a vague idea of their own kids’ activities or should I say antics. They assume that because they have a normal family and the household has its “Male” ALL IZ WELL.

Finally, many talk at lengths about how casteism and regionalism has divided India and its adverse effects. But, the minute we meet a person who belongs to our native place, is of the same religion or speaks our language, we expect favours from them.

Efforts are made instantly and shamelessly to bond with that person. We start talking to him/her in our language and to hell with the people sitting around who evidently do not understand a word.

Simply put, we take pride in building relationships on the basis of caste, religion, language and so on.


Long live our democracy but down with hypocrisy.