SIDELIGHTS OF MODI'S DELHI RALLY!

Whether the 'historic' Delhi BJP rally resurrect its fortunes in Delhi where it has not been in power in the last 15 years is a question that only time will answer. Following are the sidelights of the rally which I got a chance to attend.

When the rain gods smiled on Modi

As the sky grew overcast and strong gusts of wind started ripping off the Modi posters and buntings, BJP leaders and organisers had their fingers crossed that the impending rain should not wash away the first ever public rally by the party's prime ministerial candidate Narendra Modi. And the weather gods smiled!

The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) had made preparations on a grand scale for the rally in north Delhi's Japanese Park - that included a sophisticated sound system and 20 giant screens around the venue to show the event live to the lakhs gathered.

The rally began around 10 a.m. As Delhi BJP leaders started addressing the rally ranging from anywhere between two to five lakh people, the sky started getting darker by the minute.

Moments later, a strong gust of wind accompanied by light rain ripped apart a 100-feet high poster of Modi, and sent banners and buntings rolling around the podium.

But as Modi took centre stage, the rain and dark clouds disappeared. The strong wind gave way to a gentle breeze.

Several parts of the city were lashed by rain Sunday.

Even Modi mentioned and thanked the god for the pleasant weather.

***

Bollywood style welcome for Modi

As Narendra Modi arrived on the stage, music composer A.R. Rahman's 'Vande Mataram' was played in the background followed by the blowing of conch shells as the enthusiastic crowds cheered, clapped and whistled.

Prior to his arrival, popular Bollywood songs like 'Mehengai dayan khaye jaat hain' (Inflation is killing us) from the movie 'Peepli Live' and 'Aarambh hai prachand' (Begun with a bang) from "Gulaal" were being played since early morning at the venue.

***

Painting the town saffron

Saffron banners and hoardings of all shapes and sizes with the images of Narendra Modi and BJP's local leaders as well as thousands of party flags made of plastic, paper and cloth were put up across Delhi Sunday for the mega rally.

Metro pillars, bus stands, sidewalls of flyovers, trees and even traffic signal poles - every advertising spot had the posters of the Modi rally, especially on the roads leading to Japanese Park in north Delhi where the rally was held.

***

Modi a successful crowd manager too

People were waiting since morning to hear Narendra Modi, and when the BJP's prime ministerial candidate got up to deliver his speech at around 12.40 p.m., the impatient crowd could not hold back their emotions and stood up, chanting "Modi, Modi, Modi".

Some even climbed atop poles that were holding the marquee together as well as poles to which the huge speakers were tied and waved party flags and continued the chant.

Modi politely asked them to be seated so that people at the back could see and hear him. The crowd obliged.

Sometime later when Modi attacked Pakistan over the killing of Indian soldiers, the crowd started its chant again, louder than before.

This time, Modi in a firm voice asked his supporters to stop and let him carry on with his speech.

"The media has registered your support, now let me continue as this is an important matter," said Modi as he continued with his attack on Pakistan.

***

When gluttony took over some media persons

The over 100 media persons, including many from the electronic media, were treated to a feast by the rally organisers.

At a separate media enclosure adjacent to the dais, chilled lemonade followed by breakfast consisting of sandwiches, dhokla, wafers, sweets and a mango drink were served.

An hour later, boxes of chhole bhature (chickpeas and fried bread) were distributed as snacks. At noon, thalis with dal makhni, shahi paneer, mixed vegetable, parantha, pulao and gulab jamun were served to media personnel.

Most were satiated by the breakfast and snacks and had no appetite for the lunch. But the sumptuous lunch served by the popular Bikanervala restaurant chain was too much to resist for some journalists.

ON TEACHERS DAY, A TRIP DOWN THE MEMORY LANE

Ahhh! Sep 5.

I will always remember this date. It holds a special place in my heart due to the turn of events that took place in the days leading up to Sep 5 and to top it all the grand climax exactly ten years ago!

I was 2003 and I was in class 11^th. A group of my friends decided to stage a play on teachers’ day—Sep 5 in the school auditorium as part of a day long cultural programme on the occasion.

Our play ridiculed the Indian education system and was set up in a Delhi school. My friends wanted me to play the part of the principal, which was a pivotal character but I was reluctant and refused.

However, when I realized that two dames in my class on whom I had a huge crush were part of the play, I decided that it was time for me to showcase my acting skills and in turn enrich and touch people’s lives.

So, we started the rehearsals two weeks before the play was to be staged. We would practice during the lunch breaks and even stayed back after school.

One of my classmates, let’s call him Mr. X, was one of those who always wanted to be under the spotlight and because he had heard rave reviews about our play from those who saw the rehearsals, he wanted to be a part of it.

However, it was too late and our play was almost ready, with no scope of adding a new character or replacing an old. Moreover, everyone was miffed with the fact that he was literally forcing us to let him be the part of the act. Why should we budge? Thought everyone and he was given a polite sendoff.

As we were giving the final touchups to the play, just two days before it was to be staged, BOOM!!! A bomb dropped.

Mr. X came to us and told us that our play had been cancelled as it was too long and would not fit in the limited time slot for the programme.

The jealous Mr. X has actually approached the head girl of the school who was senior to us was managing the event. Apparently, the girl, let’s call her Ms. Y had a crush on X’s brother who too was in our school and was senior to Y.

So, Y was doing what X was telling her to do to impress his elder brother.

We went to our vice principal as we didn’t have the guts to complain to the principal.

Apparently our case was weak because we had no school teacher directing our play and everything right from direction, costumes, dialogue etc. was done by us- the students.

This sadly went against us as the vice principal refused to take us seriously and just like a sarkari babu spoke the golden words: “I will look into the matter,” followed by an evil laugh. (Kidding)

We knew she was on X and Y’s side. May be she was not supporting them but definitely shared their view.

Gathering courage we presented our case to the Principal, fondly called Hitler. For a change, she treated us gently and immediately called upon the Vice Principal who gave the silly argument that our play was too long.

After a round of discussions, it was decided that our play would be given a slot of 14 minutes as against 20 earlier and that we would have to stage the play in front of the Vice Principal and Ms. Y the same afternoon before the D Day.

But as we were in the VP’s office, the time was further reduced to 12 minutes keeping in mind the entrances and exits on stage. X and Y had a smirk on their faces.

However, the two were bitch slapped minutes later when we completed our play in 10 minutes flat instead of 12.

Our play was given the green signal by the VP and the dejected duo looked on.

In the meantime, Mr. X too got compensated somewhat as he landed a small role in a period play being staged by our arts teacher.

The D Day came. September 5, 2003. Our play was the second after a dance performance.

We started to a lukewarm response but as soon as I entered, I don’t know why the whole auditorium erupted with cheers and hooting. I was being cheered even before I opened my mouth to speak. God knows why.

The decibels rose further as soon is spoke my first line which actually mocked our principal but in a funny, harmless way. Even Hitler had a hearty laugh when I mimicked her.

12 minutes later, the curtains came down to a rousing applause and boy were we charged. I still get goose bumps when I think of that day.

The next item was Mr. X’s play. Being a period act it was ought to be boring unlike our play which was humorous and quirky.

Minutes later, Mr. X entered dressed as a King. He started speaking and the throne on his head fell off as the crowd burst into laughter. Two lines later he exited. That was it. That was the 15 microseconds of fame that Mr. X got.

I still remember juniors came up to me calling me Mr. Principal even weeks later. That was how popular our play and my character became.

However, the story hasn’t ended yet.

The icing on the cake was the evening of Sep 5 when I was supposed to get my first ever spanking new motorcycle—the Hero Honda Karizma, which was the most expensive and beautiful indian bike of that time with everybody drooling over it.

It was trendsetter of sorts as it was the first bike in India to have alloy wheels, digital meter, parking lights, self-start etc.

The black beauty—DL 9 SJ 8935 was brought home on the evening of Sep 5, 2003. I could not have dreamt of a better ending to such a magnificent day.

THE DAY I BECAME A VIP... FOR 20 MINUTES!

As I visited the Red Fort today for my second consecutive Independence Day event, I was reminded of an amusing incident that took place last year. 

I was provided a white Ambassador cab by my office which took me to Lal Quila and from there was supposed to drop me to my office in Green Park. 

As dignitaries like the Prime Minister, Defence minister etc. are the chief guest in the event, the security is obviously tight and all roads leading to Red Fort are shut down. As a result no public transport like buses, autos etc. can ply in the vicinity.

So, as the ceremony got over I sat in the cab and drove out of the venue as hordes of Delhi Police personnel along with general public started leaving on foot to the nearest bus stop—at least a couple of kilometres away. 

We were waiting at a traffic signal when a police constable approached us and requested us to drop him till the Darya Ganj bus stop which was just five minutes away.

As he sat in the car, he enquired as to where was I headed and I promptly replied- Green Park. 

The constable immediately had another request-- instead of dropping him at a bus stop could we drop him at Tilak Marg police station as it would fall on my route.

I obliged.

Now began the fun part. A policeman, seated in the front seat of an Ambassador car which has a reputation of lugging around VIP's with a walkie talkie held upright in his left hand and a 20 something in a polo t shirt in the backseat.

 From traffic policemen manning the intersections to pedestrians and motorists, it was a sight that bemused all.

ALL HAIL THE MINI SUV's

It was started by the Premier Rio, followed by the Mahindra Quanto and now the Ford EcoSport, I am increasingly growing fond of the sub 4 metre SUV’s not because they are value for money, not because they offer the practicality of an SUV at the price of a hatch and not because I am a Duster/Scorpio/Safari troll.

I like them simply because, they are playing a big role in bringing back the trend that has for ages defined SUV’s and given them their character—the tailgate mounted spare wheel!

I know that manufacturers have been forced to take this route due to the length constraints but I am not complaining.

And the launch of EcoSport has made me more ecstatic because for me it is the first proper mini SUV in India unlike the Rio which is a ‘vintage’ product and looks its age or even the Quanto, which has the genes of the ugly Xylo.

The EcoSport’s looks and design has already become the talk of the town and as it goes on to becomes a huge success, other automakers will notice and scrutinize each and every aspect of its success.

And with Indians love for SUV’s only headed north, more and more manufacturers like Honda, Hyundai, Suzuki have pulled up their socks to exploit this niche segment and their mini SUV’s will be having the rear mounted spare wheel too.

However, it’s the category above that which is not bound by this rule that I hope gets influenced by the EcoSport’s success. Maybe the next generation Scorpios/Safaris/Dusters/Terranos and even the Fortuners would be more brute looking.

And it’s not just about the looks, the rear mounted tyres also help in breaking the mass of a SUV’s which tend to have longand flat rear doors. For example take the Quanto and the Xylo and compare their rears, you will get my point.

In fact I have seen some modified Scorpio’s with rear mounted wheels and they looked AWESOME!

I've heard arguments that the wheels make the rear doors heavy but seriously how many of use our rear doors daily? Moreover, it isn't that the tyre weighs a 100 pounds and makes to door unable to operate.

Since childhood, the definition of an SUV for many of us was the good old Maruti Suzuki Gypsy, Mahindra Jeep, Armada, Bolero, Tata Sierra, Sumo, Safari and even the Willy's Jeep with rear mounted wheel always being there hallmark. Though, the Tata Estate was an exception.

Among the premium SUV’s, the Mitsubishi Pajero and Ford Endeavour sported the spare wheel and thankfully continue to do so.

But sadly, after the launch of the hugely popular Mahindra Scorpio, I feel this trend changed somewhat. 

Maybe, its success affected the thinking of the people at not only Mahindra whose future models like the 

Xylo and XUV 5OO had plain rears but also Tata as it removed the tail mounted spares from their Sumo and Safari range.

I mean it is okay for MUV’s like Qualis, Ertiga, Innova, Enjoy to have clean backs. In fact they would look silly with a rear mounted spare. But not SUV’s. After all they should have a distinct character.

BLACKBERRY, THE NEW NOKIA!

When I bought my first Blackberry back in October, 2011, I was sad, heartbroken and cheated. After all I had been a loyal Nokia user since 2002, almost a decade.

In those 10 years I had used around 15 different Nokia phones, right from the basic 5110 to the high end N 95. Though, my love for Nokia was strong, it the Finnish company that had failed me continuously over the several years.

I mean Nokia was never perfect, we all know that and there was a level of understanding that we had developed with its phones. Like the people in the 70’s and 80’s who bought ambassadors and knew that the maintenance would be easy.

Nokia was the kid who looked great but didn’t have the caliber to score above 60-65 percent in exams.

Of the 15 phones I used hardly 2 or 3 served me for a complete year without any glitches while some kept hanging, other had their software corruption, some developed hardware problems  like earphones, mic and keypad etc.

But the fact that there were no other good mobile phone brands limited the choice. 

However, with players like Apple, Blackberry, Samsung, HTC etc. entering the market we were spoilt for choice.

And like many other who broke away free I too decided to finally bid adieu to Nokia after my last phone from the company C7 which too suffered from the same genetic diseases as its predecessors.

Few drops of rain on its touch screen one day, and it stopped working. Surprisingly, the earphone and the mic too went for a toss. I was fed up and bought a curve 9300.

The first 6 months were fine. But after that it too got the Nokia syndrome. It took almost five minutes to start, its battery would get hot while charging, the phone started hanging etc.

It was Déjà vu.

Many of my friends suggested that I buy an Apple. But my girlfriend hated Whatsapp and won’t let go of BBM—our only source of interaction through day.

So, I bought a Bold 4 9900 in November 2013 which was just a shade cheaper the iPhone thinking that BB would have sorted out all the glitches in such an expensive phone.

Sadly, I have got a rude surprise. This is the seventh month of usage and it gets hot and cools down whenever it feels like, it hangs, the spacebar is not working properly etc.

But there is something about BB which I love. I just can’t put my finger on it. I love it more than an Apple. And that is why when the news of the all new Z10 and Q10 came I jumped with joy.

A fan of qwerty keypad I had set my eyes on Q10 from day one and I had heard that it would be launched around 28 to 30,000.

 It was finally launched yesterday at 45,000. Disappointed I was. The last thing BlackBerry needed now was an expensive companion model for the Z 10.

At this price-point, I expect the iPhone or the Galaxy or the One. There’s too much competition out there, from iOS, Android and Windows and BB just doesn’t command the respect it once did.

So, as BB turns into the next Nokia, it’s time to bid adieu to Canada (BB) and get myself either an America (Apple) or South Korea (Samsung) balm to heal my wounds.

  

YOU MAKE THE DAMN MOVE, FIAT!

‘Make the move my friend, make the move’ is the new ad campaign launched recently by Italian car giant Fiat and it has left me in splits.

More than 15 years in the Indian car market and several car launches later, Fiat, the Italian car manufacturer is still lying at the bottom of the sales chart with the lowest market share of 0.19 percent. 

Just two models, Linea and Punto on offer since as long as you can remember. The Grande Punto was launched way back in 2009 and since then no fresh bread has come out of Fiats' oven.  

It's startling to see such lackluster attitude from a major car company in a country like India where brands like Renault have launched half a dozen models in a year's time.  

And still, Fiat wants the customer to 'make the move'. I am forced to say that the ad campaign, as per me is a bit audacious.

And then there are the venerable issues like poor service network, expensive after sales service, and pathetic resale value of the cars and still Fiat wants Indians to 'make the move' towards the brand. Hope you are in splits now as well.

Fiat, over the last decade has made several attempts to somehow increase their market share in the country, sometimes with new car models or by offering discounts or new ‘limited’ edition variants of the existing model.

However, the company is not taking the bull by its horns. The Indian market is very unforgiving and it does not give you many chances. However, Fiat is lucky that it does make good, solid cars and more important, it had some die-hard, loyal fans.

Look at the 1.3 multi jet engine that it developed in collaboration with General Motors. It is popularly known as the ‘national engine’ of India owing to the fact that so many cars under different brands have the 1.3 under their hoods.

It is because of this reason that cars like Uno, Palio and Punto, each of which were launched at a gap of about 5-7 years sold well initially but then costumers were forced to move away due to the above written reasons. This shows that Indians still trust Fiat.

Look at brands like Nissan, Renault, Volkswagen who came to India recently and have become popular brands.

Its ok if Fiat is planning to bring in Chrysler and Jeep marques to the country but what about brand Fiat. It has been chugging along like an old steam engine, huffed and puffed.

Put some coal in the furnace and fire it up Fiat.

Launch at least three to four new models must be added to their portfolio within the next one year including new variants of Punto and Linea.

Get a small hatchback and a mini SUV with diesel hearts and price them below the competition because these two segments are the hottest in the country right now.

And finally, work hard, very hard on the after sales service and bringing down the cost of spare parts.

It will take a lot of effort to get things back on track but mind you, Fiat. Don’t screw it this time or you will keep lying at the bottom of the barrel like you have been for years now.

Take some concrete steps and only then ask us to ‘Make the move’.

PALIKA BAZAR, DELHI'S UNDERGROUND PORN HUB

Notoriously famed for being the capital’s porn hub, Palika Bazar, the underground labyrinth of shops in the heart of Delhi, is witnessing a new clientele as teenaged school and college students are giving way to labourers, rickshaw pullers and daily wage workers, who are thronging the market for cheap and easily accessible porn to satisfy their carnal urges.

I visited the market in Connaught Place, and the shopkeepers admitted that advancements in technology and the decline in the number of ‘affluent’ customers have come as a blessing in disguise for this ‘new breed’ of customers.

As people who have laptops and internet don’t come to the market anymore and it is the labour class which is driving the sales now.

With easy access to internet at homes and on mobile phones, the ‘affluent’ customers, from the middle and upper middle class have declined gradually.

The labourers are not teach-savvy nor do they have the money, so they get all the masala (porn clips) downloaded in their phones, I was informed by a shopkeeper who had a laptop in front of him that had the image of Indo-Canadian adult actress Sunny Leone in a skimpy dress as the background.

“Her clips are the most in demand,” said the man pointing to Leone who gained fame after her appearance in the fifth season of reality show Bigg Boss.

Armed with budget brand cellphones which cost anywhere between Rs. 800 to 2000 with big screens for better video playback and expandable memory, the new category of customers can have access to porn 24*7 without the fuss of owning a CD player and a TV.

Moreover, the thumbnail sized memory card, loaded with hundreds of porn clips or movies, is easy to conceal in a wallet and used when required as against stacks of CD’s and DVD’s.

The shopkeepers can download hundreds of clips on the memory card ranging from 2 GB to 10 GB for anywhere between Rs. 100 to 400 depending on the clips as well as bargaining skills.

Though the categories of the clips vary, the shopkeepers say it is the MMS clips, some real some staged, which are the most favourite. Such clips are often shot in hotel rooms, hostels or cars with or without the consent of the couples in it.

“Kand (scandals) are the most in demand,” said another shop owner with a leering smile on his face who almost snatched my mobile phone from my hand, eager to fill it up with ‘kands’at a ‘decent’ price.

According to police reports, the two men behind the brutal gangrape of a five-year-old in Delhi last week had watched porn in an inebriated state just before kidnapping the child and raping her.

The market, however has not been completely forgotten by its loyal affluent customers, who according to shopkeepers have moved beyond CD’s and are into buying sex toys, most of which are smuggled from China.

Inflatable dolls, dildos, vibrators and even sex gums which claim to work like Viagra are easily available at several shops and all you have to do is ask.

Some shops have even put the toys up on display on glass shelves to cater to the timid customers.