STOP FOOLING YOURSELF MARUTI

Insaan ko apni aukaat kabhi nahi bhoolni chaahiye… the line spoken to death in numerous bollywood movies over the last several decades-- a warning given out to anyone who dared to cross his boundaries. But I guess, the people at Maruti Suzuki have not seen much Hindi films, otherwise they would not have the audacity to launch their latest car the Kizashi, which is recipe for a sure disaster!

The Kizashi is powered by a 2.4 litre petrol engine delivering 178 PS of power. It will be available in two variants — automatic transmission priced at Rs.17.5-lakh and six-speed manual transmission at Rs.16.5-lakh. Apart from being pricey, it looks like a grown up SX4, the company’s another mid size sedan struggling to survive.

It is also the first premium sedan launched by MARUTI, which produces eight small-cars in an attempt to shed its small-car maker image but sadly, it has got it all wrong.

History has proven that when it comes to selling cars above the 10 lakh bracket, MARUTI has always tasted dirt. Even in the segment above Rs. 7 lakh, MARUTI has either tasted short-term success or witnessed debacles. It is only the sub 7 lakh bracket where the company reigns supreme.

The first sedan offered by the company was Maruti 1000 in 1990 which was a huge success back then. It was followed by the Esteem with a 1.3 litre engine and upgraded features in 1994 which again was a success story and the car sold like hot cakes for almost 15 years until it was replaced by the Swift Dzire in 2008.

But that was back then when there was hardly any competition in the form of car models or for that matter, car makers. Maruti was up against the ageing Hindustan Motors' Ambassador and Contessa Classic and the Premier Automobiles' Padmini popularly known as the Fiat.

So, light weight, efficient and zippy petrol cars offered by MARUTI back then brought about an inevitable revolution as the masses were fed up of the old, boring cars with high maintenance and running costs which burned deep holes in their owners’ pockets.

Other competition like the Daewoo Cielo was a gas guzzler so was obviously rejected and the Ford brand was just taking off with its Escort which by the way sold in good numbers in the years that followed.

MARUTI was the leader back then and people had no other choice until the late 90’s and early 2000’s when companies like Hyundai, Toyota, Honda, Tata etc. stormed the Indian car market with diverse products that changed the country’s automobile scene forever.

The sedans offered by Maruti after the Esteem did not caught the fancy of the masses the way its predecessors did because the customers were now getting better value-for-money cars like the Hyundai Accent, Ford Ikon, Tata Indigo and even Honda City.

All these cars were class leaders and jolted the sales of various sedans offerd by Maruti over the years.

However, Maruti’s nightmare had begun many years ago with the Baleno. Even its replacement -- the SX4 launched in 2007 tasted short term success until the new Honda City with its i-vtec technology came to spoil its party. As of now, the situation is so bad for the Maruti sedan, that it will soon be launched in a diesel avatar in a desperate bid to combat the ever increasing sales of the Honda City.

But even sadder is the fact that suddenly, the number of SX4’s with ‘Govt. Of India’ printed on their number plates have surged in the capital. Maybe for 'old times sake' the government is doing a favour for its Japanese friend (as it no longer hold any stake in the company) and is distributing the sedan to its various officers around the country in a bid to clear the stock.

The only Maruti sedan that is doing great and is in fact a phenomenal success is the Swift Dzire which despite being an ugly duckling has managed to win the hearts of millions of Indians with its practicality, features and most important—its price, and here lies the truth behind Maruti’s success.

Majority of Indians are thrifty by nature. People like to get maximum bang for the buck here. The statement is further cemented by the fact that the top three manufacturers in the country—Maruti, Tata and Hyundai are known for value-for-money cars.

So, Maruti launching a car priced well above 16 lakhs is absolutely stupid. The brands in this segment need to have a snob value to sell. People would not spend such an amount on a car maker which takes pride in its high mileage cars what with the ‘Kitna Deti Hain’ ad campaign.

It is strange that Maruti still has not learnt its lessons even after the failure of their first SUV, the Grand Vitara launched a few years ago.The car failed miserably just because of its high price tag upwards of RS. 16 lakh.

With the launch of Kizashi, it seems the company is refusing to learn from its earlier mistake. Maruti must realize that the premium car buyer is willing to overlook a few features in his/her car provided it’s a premium brand. Maruti is just the opposite of this theory.

Why would a customer buy a Maruti product when they can lay their hands on a Honda, Toyota, Skoda or Volkswagen (VW) for the same price?

However, the company is saying that with the Kizashi, it is not expecting big volumes but is preparing itself to offer products in a segment which is likely to form a big chunk of the market in future. How ridiculous?

I am surprised at the fact that such a statement is coming from a company which brought a revolution in the Indian car market a couple of decades ago. They are either fooling us or themselves.

If the company genuinely wanted to enter the segment it should have done with a car loaded with features and a killing price tag of around 12 lakh i.e. offering better features and value than a Civic or Corolla but priced a few thousand rupees below them which would have made it an irresistible deal much like the Ford Figo which apparently has a waiting period of between two weeks to a month.

This way Kizashi would have given severe competition to cars like Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla, VW Jetta and Skoda Laura which are all best sellers.

But surprisingly and strangely, Maruti has placed the Kizashi at the top of this segment and for unknown reasons at the bottom of the segment above this which boasts of cars like the Honda Accord and VW Passat.

Sure, going by the engines, Kizashi is in Accord and Passat’s class but what about the space, looks, and once again BRAND?

This is suicidal from Maruti, how can it expect to conquer a segment of a car driven by strong brand image when it has failed in the segment below it. Absolutely surprising!

To top it all, the company is importing the car to India as a Completely Built-up Unit (CBU) which attracts more than 100 percent duty by the government.

Whereas, it should have imported the car as Completely Knocked Down Units (CKU) and assemble it here.

The company however, says that it will consider local assembly of the Kizashi if volumes justify doing so in the future. How much more foolish can they get? How will they get the volumes when the car is going to be a bigger disaster than the historic Baleno. They have got it all wrong, absolutely wrong!

And as I conclude this blog, thanks to some surfing about the car, I have just realized that according to the manufacturers, Kizashi literally means ‘a prelude to good things’... Truly ironic?

IT DOES MATTER IF YOU ARE BLACK OR WHITE!!!

…if you are thinkin about my baby, It don’t matter if you are black or white… Remember the smash hit single by Michael Jackson? How it set the sales chart on fire and the cash registers ringing—A rare combination of a song that had a strong social message and also earned laurels and cash for its makers.

The song released in 1991 advocated harmony between the Black Americans and the White Americans in the United States for years to come and still is like an anthem for both the communities. It had a soothing effect on both the races which even after surviving together for hundreds of years were still not comfortable with each other. But that was then and in today’s America, it appears that things have improved by leaps and bounds.

But also true is the saying that one man’s meat is another man’s poison. The song which proved to be a blessing for the country in troubled times will certainly have no value in our country. Simply because the black and white divide in our country is much more dangerous, deep and devastating.

Over the years the problem of B&W has inflated to colossal proportions. It has plagued our nation to the core and blunted its development. It has created a rift between the citizens of the country. It has increased the national crime rate, exploitation and suicides. Our problem may not appear to be treacherous on the surface but beneath the surface it is more threatening than America’s.

Now, before some of you start scratching your head trying to figure out India’s African connection while others fear the resuscitation of an Indian Ku Klux Klan by the radicals, hold your thought. We Indians are predominantly BROWN, so there is no point of B&W divide among the population. The B&W problem I am talking about concerns our ECONOMY.

The divide is between the black money which has been accumulating illegally in banks around the world in Switzerlans, Seychelles, Singapore, Macau etc. since 1948 and the white money, earned by the hardworking population of the country.

Simply put, black money is the income earned illegally, usually in cash, and not reported to the government so as to avoid paying taxes on it.

According to data revealed by these banks, about Rs. 20 lakh Crore or 1500 billion dollars of black money belonging to Indian is lying in such banks which is 40 percent of our Gross Domestic Product.

Just imagine if all this money would have been pumped in our economy or building infrastructure or simply used to provide food and shelter to the poor, we would not have been chasing the goal of becoming a developed country by 2020 and continue to beg for aides from the World Bank.

Everybody from the politicians, to the bureaucrats to the corporate world, everybody is involved in it. These selfish, greedy and despicable thieves have slowly sucked and drained the wealth of our nation and deposited it in their accounts in banks all over the world.

For me, this is the baap of all scams and the Commonwealth Games scam or the 2G spectrum scam, which was the biggest ever in the history of India up till now have been dwarfed by this black money scam, which shockingly is 12 times the 2G scam.

As always our government is desperate to save these people because many of them would be funding their elections and donation millions as party funds. It is a rotten nexus of looting the country.

This statement is further cemented by the fact that the government is treating black money as a tax evading issue when it is simply a theft of the Indian economy. The government is simply diluting the charges.

So, come to think of it, it was a good thing that the legend was an American and not an Indian. Otherwise, if he had witnessed the black and white divide here, history would have been deprived off one of the greatest songs ever created.

VIR, BARKHA AND WIKILEAKS

As 2010 draws to an end it can be easily concluded that the past year has been one of the most action-packed (for a journalist like me) what with scams of magnum proportions in every corner of the country and in every sector from sports to telecom. 2010 was surely the year of scams.

But come to think of it, our country’s affair with scams is as strong as a Fevicol ka jod, joh ache se acha na tod paaye. The way we got independence from the Britishers we were subjected to a new kind of anarchy- that of our political class. They in the garb of development be it the military development (Bofors scam) or rural development (Fodder scam) and various other drought and famine aids have filled their coffers over the many decades.

So, in hindsight, there were not a lot of scams committed in the year, they were only exposed as many of them were in the making for years but their lid was blown off only in 2010.

The reasons behind writing this blog, are firstly because for the very first time has the media been caught red-handed in the middle of corporate lobbying and political arm-twisting

The likes of the mighty Vir Sanghvi and the mightier Barkha Dutt were humiliated and embarrassed by a certain Nira Radia, the person in charge for handling the corporate communications of the country’s two leading industrialists- Mukesh Ambani and Ratan Tata.

Radia’s recorded (without her knowledge) conversation with both the ‘mighty’ journalists reveal how they actively took part in the process of appointing certain political leaders to certain ministries so that their clients would gain from those corrupt fools. Case in point- Radia discussing A. Raja’s inclusion in the Telecom Ministry with Dutt and worse Vir Sanghvi shamelessly influencing public opinion through his column ‘Counterpoint’ in Hindustan Times.

No matter how much the duo denied the allegations and instead launched an all-out attack on the editor of Open magazine which printed the transcriptions Manu Joseph, the fact remains that they both were guilty of wrongdoing and no amount of foolish statements of being innocent and error of judgement can prove them innocent.

Moreover, it is a human tendency that if we are caught cheating we either accept the crime or make a ruckus by giving frivolous excuses because we want the attention to divert from the main subject. Being the snobs that Sanghvi and Dutt are it came as no surprise that they chose the latter.

People like Barkha Dutt who were lobbying for the Congress party must have got tonnes of personal and professional favours from the party as well as people like Radia. After all she was awarded the Padma Bhushan for heavens’ sake. So, do whatever you feel like but just be prepared to pay for your actions because sooner or later your luck will run out.

But if one fine day a gentleman like Manu Joseph armed with an edition of Open magazine comes around to expose you, do not be startled.

So, coming to the second point which is also the best thing that happened to journalism in 2010 was WikiLeaks. Frankly, the storm that it generated globally It definitely was not a leak but a flooding of massive proportions.

For the uninitiated, WikiLeaks is an international non-profit organisation that publishes submissions of private, secret, and classified media from anonymous news sources and news leaks. Its website, launched in 2006 and run by The Sunshine Press, claimed a database of more than 1.2 million documents within a year of its launch.

However, if we just talk about the content related to our country revealed by Leaks, the ‘flooding’ has only reaffirmed the many stereotypes prevalent in our nation since decades while some others amazed and shocked.

Like when Rahul Gandhi talked about the ‘Hindu radicals being more dangerous than those Muslims who support cross border terror outfits’ it was no surprise to me as he is just toing his party line. There is nothing new in the appeasement of minorities by the Congress party. In fact many of the veterans read sycophants in the party have become an expert in it like Digvijay Singh.

Radicals, irrespective of their religion should be measured with the same yardstick. Rahul’s statement was absolutely biased and immature. What is terrifying is that it came from a person who is all set to become the Prime Minister of the country in a few years down the line.

Further, the leaks exposed the Gandhi scion telling Timothy Roemer how he was focusing on rural India to gain a stronghold for his party as it would be tough for the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) to beat them there.

I was deeply hurt by this as the future PM just like his predecessors was only thinking about political gains and not about the upliftment of the poor and backward. It is because of these political motives that a Kalawati, a downtrodden citizen of India is promised better living conditions when the ‘Congress Prince’ spends a night in her shack and a year later the same Kalawati’s brother commits suicide because of poverty.

WikiLeaks is a boon to a country like ours which is ruled and not governed by sycophant and corrupt jokers who think thet they can get away with anything. What the ‘courageous and mighty’ journalists of this country would not do, WikiLeaks is doing for them.

Everybody has their vested interests and it is because of this very reason that Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook was chosen over Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks as the person of the year by the Time magazine, the same publication that voted Lady Gaga’s ‘Meat dress’ as the fashion of the year. Just Amazing!!!

WikiLeaks has spared no one from the United States war on terror to the local thullas of Delhi Police. The fear that it has generated in the minds of people is tremendous which have gone onto doubt and question the credibility of the cables.

But as far as for me and many more common citizens like me, the cables did reveal David Mulford, former US ambassador to India calling the then Home Minister Shivraj Patil ‘Spectacularly Inept’ post 26/11, which is spot on and every informed Indian would swear by.

As we usher in a new year and brace ourselves for 2011, I hope there would be many more cables revealing, exposing, embarrassing those who deserve it worldwide and especially in India. Keep ‘em coming Mr. Assange… am loving it!!!

THE DUMB 'BABUDOM' OF INDIA

It is quite strange and funny how the system in our country works. For the last couple of days I have been watching a series of advertisements promoting social causes sponsored by the National Rural Health Mission, a department under the Government of India.

As per me, such ads should be promoted by all television channels free of cost and their more than those stupid deodorant and underwear ads in which there is a competition between the male and the female model(s) as to who can expose more skin?

So, what is so amusing about promoting a social cause you may ask? Well, these ads are aimed at people living in rural areas or the mofussil towns who are not educated enough to understand that a girlchild should not be killed in the womb or that child marriage is harmful to the health of a gairl as well as illegal.

But the problem with all these ads was, hold your breath--- they were in ENGLISH. Is the NRHM so dumb that it cannot even identify its target the language its audience speaks? They show ads set up in a rural background but surprisingly the villagers speak fluent English. Are they in their senses?

It looks so damn funny that you just cannot take the poor villagers seriously. Just imagine two women attired in a lehenga-choli drawing water from a well in a village in Rajasthan and talking about family planning in English.

On top of it these ads are being aired on English news channels when a majority of villages in India still do not have a cable connection and they only get Doordarshan. Is not this a wastage of public money?

Even if these ads are aimed at those less privileged who come to the metros to earn a living as a mason or a daily wager, does the NRHM seriously expect him/her to tune into Times Now and CNN IBN? And even if (s)he does, would these people hailing from Orissa, Jharkhand, Bihar etc. understand a word of what is being said?

Well like many policies, rules and laws which were made in the bygone era and are protected by the babus, no one paid any attention to this too. Just because an ad is being aired on an English channel it has to be dubbed in the same language, no matter who the target audience is, This is sheer lack of common sense.

This is mere dumbness and stupidity on the NHRM’s part.

REALITY CHECK

Sample this: A chopper hovering metres above the ground and its blades trying to shred the hero into pieces when out of nowhere a jeep being driven by the hero’s sidekick at speeds much above the pice of junk is capable of ricochets off a boulder, crashes into the chopper and kills the enemy…sounds like a cartoon? It is actually a scene from a southern blockbuster flick, the name of which I cannot remember.

Southern India has a flourishing film industry in almost all the states just like Bollywood. Thousands of films are made there majorly small budget and B-grade movies. But if we talk about the mainstream cinema, the one thing that intrigues me the most is the high level of absurdity depicted in almost all the flicks.

I have come across some of the weirdest and funniest scenes in almost every read handful southern movie. The thing that intrigued me the most was in fact southern India has a higher literacy rate than the rest of the country; it houses the ‘Indian Silicon Valley’ in Bangalore, which means it produces some the sharpest minds. Still, their taste and preference in movies was perplexing.

Last week when Rajinikanth’s latest offering ‘Endhiran’ hit the theatres, it received an overwhelming response with movie halls being booked for weeks in advance. But more interestingly, it was surprising to see Rajini meeting his fans and followers sans any make-up or tantrums.

It was then that it occurred to me that no matter how surreal the actors, plot and sequences in southern movies are, the fact remains that fans as well as the stars down south are absolutely comfortable with their appearances. They are much closer to real life than the reel life… at least that is the case with Rajinikanth and his followers.

On the contrary in Bollywood a celebrity has to look young at any cost and any time. Bollywood stars nearing their 50’s whenever make a public appearance, colour their hair, shave their chest and put on layers of make-up to hide that saaging and wrinkling skin.

As a matter of fact many of the balding stars spent crores on special treatments like scalp hair replacements. Although playing characters 20 years younger their age with girls barely out of their teens is common to both, it is the Bollywood stars who have to do it with shaved chests and six pack abs.

So, the next time you try to make fun of a “Madrasi” film (I know people love to do it) just think about what you have read here.