PALIKA BAZAR, DELHI'S UNDERGROUND PORN HUB

Notoriously famed for being the capital’s porn hub, Palika Bazar, the underground labyrinth of shops in the heart of Delhi, is witnessing a new clientele as teenaged school and college students are giving way to labourers, rickshaw pullers and daily wage workers, who are thronging the market for cheap and easily accessible porn to satisfy their carnal urges.

I visited the market in Connaught Place, and the shopkeepers admitted that advancements in technology and the decline in the number of ‘affluent’ customers have come as a blessing in disguise for this ‘new breed’ of customers.

As people who have laptops and internet don’t come to the market anymore and it is the labour class which is driving the sales now.

With easy access to internet at homes and on mobile phones, the ‘affluent’ customers, from the middle and upper middle class have declined gradually.

The labourers are not teach-savvy nor do they have the money, so they get all the masala (porn clips) downloaded in their phones, I was informed by a shopkeeper who had a laptop in front of him that had the image of Indo-Canadian adult actress Sunny Leone in a skimpy dress as the background.

“Her clips are the most in demand,” said the man pointing to Leone who gained fame after her appearance in the fifth season of reality show Bigg Boss.

Armed with budget brand cellphones which cost anywhere between Rs. 800 to 2000 with big screens for better video playback and expandable memory, the new category of customers can have access to porn 24*7 without the fuss of owning a CD player and a TV.

Moreover, the thumbnail sized memory card, loaded with hundreds of porn clips or movies, is easy to conceal in a wallet and used when required as against stacks of CD’s and DVD’s.

The shopkeepers can download hundreds of clips on the memory card ranging from 2 GB to 10 GB for anywhere between Rs. 100 to 400 depending on the clips as well as bargaining skills.

Though the categories of the clips vary, the shopkeepers say it is the MMS clips, some real some staged, which are the most favourite. Such clips are often shot in hotel rooms, hostels or cars with or without the consent of the couples in it.

“Kand (scandals) are the most in demand,” said another shop owner with a leering smile on his face who almost snatched my mobile phone from my hand, eager to fill it up with ‘kands’at a ‘decent’ price.

According to police reports, the two men behind the brutal gangrape of a five-year-old in Delhi last week had watched porn in an inebriated state just before kidnapping the child and raping her.

The market, however has not been completely forgotten by its loyal affluent customers, who according to shopkeepers have moved beyond CD’s and are into buying sex toys, most of which are smuggled from China.

Inflatable dolls, dildos, vibrators and even sex gums which claim to work like Viagra are easily available at several shops and all you have to do is ask.

Some shops have even put the toys up on display on glass shelves to cater to the timid customers.

REMEMBERING THE PHERIWALLAHS!

Back when I was growing up, in a world far far away from Facebook, Mobile Phones and Internet. An era when the kids did nit feel the urge to inform the world that they were having a pizza at Domino's or upload pictures clicked by themselves in the lavatories of restaurants.

Those were the days when every kid in the society would come out of his/her home to rollick in the dusty streets and parks for hours desperate to win a game of pitthu, chor police, vish amrit or kho kho. A routine that everyone followed ritually.

Now there has been plenty said and written on how the kids today should venture out more and indulge in physical activities. I agree. But this blog shall focus on another aspect or should I say a perk that played a major role in forcing us to get out of our air cooled homes in the blistering heat of May and June every evening.


And that perk was the combination of -- friends, games, swings and food.

From 5 in the evening till 10 in the night, every day pheriwallahs would visit our streets one after the other at regular intervals offering food, toys and swings at dirt cheap prices.

A ride on a mini merry go round while gorging on a chilled and flavourful barf gola-- was truly heavenly. Add to that the fact that you would pay only Rs. 10 for that only made the deal sweeter.

The kulfi wallah would ring his brass bell hard in the air to let us know that he had arrived while toy seller would blow a plastic trumpet announcing his arrival.



Everyone had their own style.


The fact the chirpy kids and teens occupied the streets and indulged in hours and hours of games and sports only helped us to build an appetite and that's where the pheriwallahs, the saviours came to the rescue.


Kulfi faluda, barf gola, aaloo tikki, dal moth, cotton candy, ice creams, gol gappe, shakargandi and tangy churans... They had something for everybody.


But now, as outdoor spaces shrink with hordes of cars demanding parking space and on top of that the addiction to intenet, TV and high end video games, the pheriwallahs are a hibernated breed in our area.

Another major spoilsport is the opening up of CCD's and McD's in every nook and cranny. And frankly, no kid would like to be seen eating an aaloo tikki sandwich at a redi however, he wont mind getting the same stuff at double the price at McD's. 

That's how our society has evolved.

On seldom occasions I do see kids playing cricket in my street but that's just a one hour affair followed by talks of whether Domino's or McD's should be chosen for dinner.

It seems they just don't have the stamina to play hard like we did... For hours at a stretch.

DJ CUPID!

This incident took place exactly 6 years ago on this very day.

Those were the days; back in 2007, when my lonely heart ached for a partner what with being single for two straight years. 

It was the morning of Feb 14—Valentine’s Day, and I was headed to my college praying to get stuck by cupid, little did I know that as fate would have it, in a few hours I would be playing cupid, helping a school kid whom I had never met before help propose to her crush.

So, it was 10 a.m. and I parked my silver Tata Indica car in one of the back alleys behind my college near Bengali Market. As I got down, I saw a couple of school students from nearby Modern School, Barakhamba Road.

Armed with a huge sack of red rose petals they were making some patterns on the one of the walls of my college by sticking the petals with glue. As the lane used to be deserted even during the day, they carried on 

without being bothered.

I caught a quick glimpse and carried on towards my classroom, wondering what they were upto.

I had three good friends in my class and it was a routine affair for us to play cricket during the one hour lunch break at around 12:30 p.m. in the same back lane.

As, we approached the lane, the boys were done with their work and had made a huge heart made of red rose petals on the yellow wall and written below it was “I love you” followed by the name of a girl.

I was again confused. What’s the point of doing it here, in a back alley? Or does the girl lives in a nearby house? I wondered and opened the boot of my hatch to take out our cricket gear.

It was then that I was approached by one of the boys. He introduced himself and told me that he was going to propose to his crush who was on her way to meet him in that secluded and quiet back lane. The rose heart on the wall was ready and so was an expensive gift but there was still something missing.

A romantic song in the background at the time of the proposal!

Impressed by the lad’s style and devotion, I agreed to play DJ CUPID. He urged me to play a particular song – “pehla yeh pehle pyaar” by Kumar Sanu on full volume and let the boot remain open.

Minutes later, the girl arrived and while my friends were setting up the wickets for a match I was adjusting the bass and treble to get the perfect sound.

The girl was really taken aback as she chuckled in delight with both palms on her cheeks. The boy then went down on one knee, clichéd I know, these school kids I tell you, and proposed to her with a ring.

It was a beautiful sight and the Pioneer base tube, Sony amplifier and speakers in my car were definitely adding the magic touch. The girl said yes and they hugged, not bothered by four strangers (me and my three friends).

 Come to think of it, may be she thought were his new boyfriends’ friends as after all we were the official background music providers.

The boy before leaving thanked us all and left with his lady love. As I sat there sulking and realizing that another member of the single men’s club had left us, I was till alone… waiting for someone.

And that someone did came, minutes later, albeit it was the security guard of our college who followed the blaring sound of Kumar Sanu’s voice only to howl at us, asking kill the music as the neighbours were threatening to call the cops.

When I told him that he could have said the same thing more politely; he replied in a tender tone “bhaiya ji gaana band kar di jiye na please”. And that my friends, was the only sliver of love I got that day. Screw you cupid!  

DISILLUSIONED OR DEMENTED? TAKE YOUR CALL

I read this piece of news today which says: “Hindustan Motors Limited (HML), the makers of the good old Ambassador car in India, is focusing on SUVs and would be launching new SUVs in collaboration with Mitsubishi Motors.”

Well, I could not help but think what is wrong with Mitsubishi-HM after I read this news.

Is it that the low sales have disillusioned them and they are unable to think straight?

The two companies have an alliance for over two decades and are still lying at the bottom of the sales chart. And now they finally wake up, or so it seems, and make a silly announcement that they will bring in more SUV’s.

As there’s no point talking about the HM and Ambassador, I’ll jump to Mitsubishi.

A company which already has 4 SUVs in India – Pajero SFX, Pajero Sport, Montero and Outlander and only one sedan the Cedia (not considering the Evo as its a niche car) is talking about introducing more SUVs.

Of the five models that they sell here, 4 are SUV's and still they are at the bottom of the sales chart. So, how ill launching new SUV’s help them is beyond me.

And I have also read that they are planning to bring in cars like the Mirage and Colt.  

Though there is nothing wrong with new launches, but what’s the point if they are not going to meet the same fate as the Cedia or Outlander or Montero.

The company needs to look at the root cause of the problem. They need a major image makeover. Just because you are planning to launch new models does not mean that the Indian consumer’s interest in the brand will surge overnight.

Drastic steps and a major rejig are the need of the hour.

Mitsubishi immediately needs to break up with Hindustan Motors and pump in money to set up new dealerships and more important, much better after sales service.

Instead of focusing on SUVs, they need to focus on small cars and launch at least a three models—one to counter the Alto/Eon class, the second to compete with the likes of i10/Wagon R and maybe a premium hatch as well, but that can wait.

But the most important thing is to provide cheap spare parts and best after sales service and only then can they expect to enjoy the loyalty of the Indian customer.

DEAR SACHIN, PLEASE GET OUT OF THE TEAM

Seeing Sachin Tendulkar struggling against the English gives me a sense of Déjà vu. It reminds of the last days of former Indian captain Saurav Ganguly in the Indian cricket team. He too was fighting an Englishman by the name of Greg Chappel—the then coach of the Indian team.

The only difference being that Ganguly was fighting Chappel from outside the team as he had been literally kicked out by the coach while Tendulkar is still in the team. And this is all because of the image and the aura Tendulkar has.

No one has the guts to keep him out of the team when he is not in form. That is just way we Indians are. We believe in idol worshipping and for us cricket is a religion and Tendulkar is our god. But sadly, thanks to the last several outings of the ‘god’ spread over many years, I am happy to say that I have become an atheist.

The voices are growing across the cricket playing nations demanding Tendulkar’s’ retirement and I am with them. He is almost 40, does not have the stamina, confidence and focus that is required to play cricket today. It’s not the 80’s or 90’ anymore, with the advent of T 20, even test matches today have become result oriented and are exciting to watch.

Tendulkar averages 25 in the last nine test matches in 2012. Apart from a 76 in Kolkata in the last test match, he had not scored a 50 in the 10 innings prior to that.

All his peers have retired long back because of similar reason. But no, the ‘god’ won’t do it on his own and he knows that no one will ask him as well.

More important is the fact that youngsters who are warming the bench because of him are losing precious time to hone their skills. Talented youngsters like Ajinkya Rahane, Manish Tiwari have been reduced to water boys for the team.

Why can’t we Indian retire gracefully? Why do we have to be pushed out? There is a saying “quit while you are ahead’, its high time for Tendulkar to bid adieu to the game.

Surprisingly, Tendulkar was more than happy to retire from T 20 cricket when it came to the national team but not the IPL. Why? Simply because of money.

Tendulkar know that the day he leaves Team India, the endorsements are and multi-billion sponsorships are gone. So, to hell with the future of youngsters he will fill his coffers.

There was a time when for me too Tendulkar was god. The thought of an Indian team without him gave me the jitters. But I guess the Indian team today can easily play and win without him.

In a blog written many months ago on the crisis between Ganguly and Chappel, I had the same views that Ganguly should leave with his head held high as he had achieved a lot and had a glorious career.

Similarly, Tendulkar should quit. You have earned enough; name, fame and moolah and honestly you are doing more harm than good to the team.

P.S. Virat Kohli had said after the Indian team lifted the world cup that it was a tribute to Tendulkar for his years of service to the team. Well Tendulkar should have respected that sentiment and if not then should have retired after he hit his 100 hundreds in March this year gracefully. What more does he want?

WHY NOT MAKE REAR FOG LAMPS MANDATORY?

This is an issue that has been perturbing since a long time and sadly there have been no major developments that would calm my nerves in the past many years. It’s the issue of rear fog lamps.

With the winters setting in, I think rear fog lamps are perhaps one of the most needed equipment in any vehicle be it a car, truck, scooter etc.

Now my friends from south India may not share the same sentiment but at least in all of northern India like Jammu and Kashmir, Himachal Pradesh, Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Rajasthan, Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, Uttarakhand etc., the dense fog, year after year, wreaks havoc especially on the motorists.

Be it early morning or night driving, fog is your worst enemy on the road in winters and every year several motorists, passengers and even pedestrians lose their lives because of this.

Now what irritates me is that why can’t the government formulate a stringent policy on cars having rear fog lamps at least, those sold in north India, the way it was made mandatory for four-wheeler drivers to wear seatbelts or helmets for two-wheeler drivers.

And why can’t car makers on their own do this? I know many cars have rear fog lamps but why can’t all of them have it?

Moreover, there is an idiotic trend that I have observed the top variant of a model will have a fog lamp but not its poorer base variant. For example: Maruti Suzuki Swift, Mahindra Xylo etc.

Now I wonder what the logic behind this is. Does a Swift Ldi/Lx has a Titanium boot covered with Kevlar??? Does it not deserve to be protected with a 100 rupees lamp because the owner won’t shell out that extra cash for some alloys or sunroof?

I personally drive an ANHC that was launched in 2009. In its tail lamp assembly there was an enclosure for a fog lamp but no bulb in it. Why? How much a pair of bulbs would cost you Honda? On top of it, the recent facelift has left the city without any rear fog lamps. Bravo Honda.

I am a Delhiite and I used to travel on the Delhi-Gurgaon and Delhi-Noida expressways often last year and trust me, driving in that thick fog was like hell.

On top of it several drivers would have their blinkers on—another idiotic trend which is a nuisance but people are comfortable with it. Surprisingly, even the Delhi Traffic Police in one of its advisories on facebook last winter had written: “Thick fog, drive with blinkers on.”

And so many people slammed them for their lack of knowledge and spreading wrong information. The advisory was removed from the site after a few hours.

Finally, I would end this post with another IDIOTIC TREND – that of car makers putting those silly LED daytime running lamps which frankly speaking are there only for cosmetic purposes.

DRL’s are required in Nordic countries where sometimes the afternoons are dark. But in an attempt to ape the west and just to look cool, these lights are becoming so popular that Philips has introduced DRL strips in the market.

I just read on Autocar India’s website that the i20’s top versions would be getting these LED daytime running lights. Common sense is so uncommon.

REMEMBERING THE CONNAUGHT PLACE FLOWER MARKET

Last week, I was driving down Baba Khadak Singh road early in the morning and as I passed the Hanuman Mandir I gazed upon the vacant space that was once home to a wholesale flower market in the heart of the city. Until, it was shifted to Ghazipur earlier this year.

So, I dug deep and retrieved this piece that I had written in 2010, remembering those good old days when every morning that half a kilometer stretch of tarmac was an ecstasy for the senses—with God on one side and colourful, fragrant flowers on the other—both complementing each other beautifully.

The fragrance of roses and rajnigandha fill the air as temple bells ring in the background. A trip to the flower market in Connaught Place is an overwhelming experience for the senses, with the pavement sellers doing business worth lakhs of rupees every month.

The Hanuman Temple flower market commences business at around 5 a.m. and closes at 9 a.m. It is India's biggest wholesale cut-flower market and has been around for 20 years, claim shopkeepers.

Sellers set up temporary stalls outside the Delhi Tourism and Transportation Development Corporation (DTTDC) coffee house, put up for sale of flowers (fake and fresh), ferns, decoration items, beautiful bouquet baskets et al.

According to the shopkeepers, there are over 200 varieties of flowers in the market.

Kiosks selling coloured sprays, ribbons, decorative tapes, fancy wrapping papers, scissors and other things complement the flowers.

The market exports flowers worth lakhs of rupees every month worldwide especially to countries like Russia, Holland, Japan, Bangladesh, Pakistan.

Apart from the wholesalers, the market was thronged by several Delhiites hunting for a bargain. A carnation which used to sell outside for Rs.15-20 could be bought there for a mere Rs.5 making the deal irresistible.