A SULKING GOEL: BJP's BANE AHEAD OF DELHI POLLS

President of the Bharatiya Janata Party’s (BJP) state unit, Vijay Goel has changed post Oct 23 when the party elected former state health minister Harsh Vardhan as Delhi’s chief ministerial candidate instead of him.

Although nothing was official, but everybody had assumed that Goel would be the CM candidate including him. He had started campaigning actively and was visiting even the smallest districts of the city.

But the announcement left him shocked and upset.

A miffed Goel then threatened to resign from his post if Harsh Vardhan was selected as the chief minister but had to comply with the decision following orders from the party high command.

Days later, BJP leader Rajnath Singh said that Goel had “accepted Harsh Vardhan's candidature” and that all was well in the state unit of the party.

But that was not to be.

The once feisty Goel hardly smiled and seemed disinterested. The situation was made worse by reporters who were now more interested in getting a quote or a byte from Harsh Vardhan instead of Goel.

Meanwhile, as the countdown began for Dec 4, instead of intensifying his campaigning as party president, Goel restricted himself to just holding press conferences in the party office and issuing press releases.

The party then directed Nitin Gadkari to take over and do Goel’s job.

In fact, in one of the rooms at the party headquarters, where press conferences are held regularly, there is a hoarding of Goel in the background and some party workers had asked senior leaders to replace it with a new one showing Harsh Vardhan and Goel together.

But the party turned down the proposal as they knew that would aggravate the matter.

Similarly, in the party’s manifesto, Harsh Vardhan and BJP’s the prime ministerial candidate Narendra Modi were shown prominently while other national and local leaders including Goel got little space.

Days later, Goel’s close aide—Ashok Goel contesting from Model Town came out with a manifesto for his constituency which had prominent pictures of Malhotra along with Goel, Rajnath Singh and Modi.

This time Harsh Vardhan was in the background along with other leaders.

It is evident that Goel is not quite comfortable in the presence of Harsh Vardhan and that is why he is seldom seen alongside the chief ministerial candidate leave alone talking or discussing issues with him.

In the wake of the party announcing names of its 62 of the 70 candidates Nov 6, supporters of some leaders who did not get a ticket protested at the party's state headquarters.

The workers of one such candidate-- Sarita Choudhary, mayor of the South Delhi Municipal Corporation, stormed the conference room in the party office and broke a couple of chairs as they raised slogans and climbed atop tables.

Instead of tackling the situation together, Goel along with party leaders Vijender Gupta and V.K. Malhotra fled the scene while Harsh Vardhan, left alone to fend for himself was heckled by the crowd.

The only saving grace for the BJP, according to party members is that Harsh Vardhan is a non-confrontational leader.

Meanwhile, there is also a belief amongst many, that Goel is largely responsible for the situation he is in at present as he wanted to set up a parallel structure in the party with his own people and this did not go down well the high command.

Assuming that he would be the CM candidate when there was no official declaration was just one of the many slip-ups and his wings had to be clipped.

Now it would be a matter of great interest to see if this infighting will hurt the party in Dec 4 assembly polls, the results of which will be announced Dec 8.

MULANA ABUL KALAM AZAD: INDIA'S FORGOTTEN HERO

Its red sandstone boundary walls are defaced with posters and betel juice marks. Shopkeepers hang cases full of clothes and jewellery on them. Inside the walls the dry fountains gather dust and filth. This is the state of the maosoleum of Maulana Abul Kalam Azad, independent India's first education minister, whose 125th birth anniversary will be observed tomorrow.

Situated in the heart of the bustling Meena Bazar, the garden-tomb of India's prominent independence leader and close associate of Jawaharlal Nehru, the country's first prime minister, the mausoleum is surrounded by numerous shops selling food, mobiles, CDs, clothes and other knick-knacks. Open sewers and a dump yard nearby tell a tale of unbelievable civic and governmental neglect.

Apart from the apathy of the authorities in maintaining the site, what stands out is that even most residents are not even aware about the mausoleum of a leader who established a national education system and modern institutes of higher education, including the Indian Institutes of Technology. His birth anniversary is also observed as National Education Day.

Walking down the winding by-lanes in search of the mausoleum, one is startled to learn that most of  the locals are oblivious of his name, leave alone the location of the memorial. It's indeed ironic how the man who persuaded thousands of Muslims during partition to stay back in India is now a forgotten man.

The boundary walls of his mausoleum have become billboards for local politicians, quacks and restaurants, while the temporary stalls adjacent to these walls have further damaged it by hammering nails and creating deep holes in places.

As you enter the small black iron-gate, a short staircase leads to a garden where people, mostly shopkeepers, are having lunch or a siesta.

It is perhaps the only place offering peace and tranquillity in the midst of a maddening market and has thus become the resting place for many. That is another reason why the mausoleum  is at least still maintained, though empty packets and wrappers of eatables and plastic bottles are scattered around the boundary walls.

In one corner is the mausoleum made of white marble with a patch of green grass on top. A canopy and a short boundary wall, both made of white marble, cover it from rain and sun - and more importantly, bird droppings.

The fountains and pools, on the front and on the sides of the mausoleum, are empty and full of dust and filth, while the garden has patches of grass. Lichen covers the trunks of many trees.

The famous Urdu Park in front of the mausoleum, where Azad along with Sardar Patel, independent India's first home minister and now much in the news,  and C. Rajagopalachari, India's first governor-general, delivered the historic 1942 Quit India address, is a playground for amateur cricketers during daytime and a haven for drug addicts and drunkards at night.

Sadly, it seems no one cares.

For the locals, the mausoleum was just what it was - a mausoleum.

Similarly, tourists who come in droves to visit the nearby Jama Masjid and Meena Bazar, famous for affordable women's apparel and accessories, give the memorial a miss as they are oblivious of its existence and importance.

Azad was a freedom fighter and a nationalist leader known for his secular thoughts and was one of the few Muslim leaders who strongly opposed the partition of India.

SIDELIGHTS OF MODI'S DELHI RALLY!

Whether the 'historic' Delhi BJP rally resurrect its fortunes in Delhi where it has not been in power in the last 15 years is a question that only time will answer. Following are the sidelights of the rally which I got a chance to attend.

When the rain gods smiled on Modi

As the sky grew overcast and strong gusts of wind started ripping off the Modi posters and buntings, BJP leaders and organisers had their fingers crossed that the impending rain should not wash away the first ever public rally by the party's prime ministerial candidate Narendra Modi. And the weather gods smiled!

The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) had made preparations on a grand scale for the rally in north Delhi's Japanese Park - that included a sophisticated sound system and 20 giant screens around the venue to show the event live to the lakhs gathered.

The rally began around 10 a.m. As Delhi BJP leaders started addressing the rally ranging from anywhere between two to five lakh people, the sky started getting darker by the minute.

Moments later, a strong gust of wind accompanied by light rain ripped apart a 100-feet high poster of Modi, and sent banners and buntings rolling around the podium.

But as Modi took centre stage, the rain and dark clouds disappeared. The strong wind gave way to a gentle breeze.

Several parts of the city were lashed by rain Sunday.

Even Modi mentioned and thanked the god for the pleasant weather.

***

Bollywood style welcome for Modi

As Narendra Modi arrived on the stage, music composer A.R. Rahman's 'Vande Mataram' was played in the background followed by the blowing of conch shells as the enthusiastic crowds cheered, clapped and whistled.

Prior to his arrival, popular Bollywood songs like 'Mehengai dayan khaye jaat hain' (Inflation is killing us) from the movie 'Peepli Live' and 'Aarambh hai prachand' (Begun with a bang) from "Gulaal" were being played since early morning at the venue.

***

Painting the town saffron

Saffron banners and hoardings of all shapes and sizes with the images of Narendra Modi and BJP's local leaders as well as thousands of party flags made of plastic, paper and cloth were put up across Delhi Sunday for the mega rally.

Metro pillars, bus stands, sidewalls of flyovers, trees and even traffic signal poles - every advertising spot had the posters of the Modi rally, especially on the roads leading to Japanese Park in north Delhi where the rally was held.

***

Modi a successful crowd manager too

People were waiting since morning to hear Narendra Modi, and when the BJP's prime ministerial candidate got up to deliver his speech at around 12.40 p.m., the impatient crowd could not hold back their emotions and stood up, chanting "Modi, Modi, Modi".

Some even climbed atop poles that were holding the marquee together as well as poles to which the huge speakers were tied and waved party flags and continued the chant.

Modi politely asked them to be seated so that people at the back could see and hear him. The crowd obliged.

Sometime later when Modi attacked Pakistan over the killing of Indian soldiers, the crowd started its chant again, louder than before.

This time, Modi in a firm voice asked his supporters to stop and let him carry on with his speech.

"The media has registered your support, now let me continue as this is an important matter," said Modi as he continued with his attack on Pakistan.

***

When gluttony took over some media persons

The over 100 media persons, including many from the electronic media, were treated to a feast by the rally organisers.

At a separate media enclosure adjacent to the dais, chilled lemonade followed by breakfast consisting of sandwiches, dhokla, wafers, sweets and a mango drink were served.

An hour later, boxes of chhole bhature (chickpeas and fried bread) were distributed as snacks. At noon, thalis with dal makhni, shahi paneer, mixed vegetable, parantha, pulao and gulab jamun were served to media personnel.

Most were satiated by the breakfast and snacks and had no appetite for the lunch. But the sumptuous lunch served by the popular Bikanervala restaurant chain was too much to resist for some journalists.

ON TEACHERS DAY, A TRIP DOWN THE MEMORY LANE

Ahhh! Sep 5.

I will always remember this date. It holds a special place in my heart due to the turn of events that took place in the days leading up to Sep 5 and to top it all the grand climax exactly ten years ago!

I was 2003 and I was in class 11^th. A group of my friends decided to stage a play on teachers’ day—Sep 5 in the school auditorium as part of a day long cultural programme on the occasion.

Our play ridiculed the Indian education system and was set up in a Delhi school. My friends wanted me to play the part of the principal, which was a pivotal character but I was reluctant and refused.

However, when I realized that two dames in my class on whom I had a huge crush were part of the play, I decided that it was time for me to showcase my acting skills and in turn enrich and touch people’s lives.

So, we started the rehearsals two weeks before the play was to be staged. We would practice during the lunch breaks and even stayed back after school.

One of my classmates, let’s call him Mr. X, was one of those who always wanted to be under the spotlight and because he had heard rave reviews about our play from those who saw the rehearsals, he wanted to be a part of it.

However, it was too late and our play was almost ready, with no scope of adding a new character or replacing an old. Moreover, everyone was miffed with the fact that he was literally forcing us to let him be the part of the act. Why should we budge? Thought everyone and he was given a polite sendoff.

As we were giving the final touchups to the play, just two days before it was to be staged, BOOM!!! A bomb dropped.

Mr. X came to us and told us that our play had been cancelled as it was too long and would not fit in the limited time slot for the programme.

The jealous Mr. X has actually approached the head girl of the school who was senior to us was managing the event. Apparently, the girl, let’s call her Ms. Y had a crush on X’s brother who too was in our school and was senior to Y.

So, Y was doing what X was telling her to do to impress his elder brother.

We went to our vice principal as we didn’t have the guts to complain to the principal.

Apparently our case was weak because we had no school teacher directing our play and everything right from direction, costumes, dialogue etc. was done by us- the students.

This sadly went against us as the vice principal refused to take us seriously and just like a sarkari babu spoke the golden words: “I will look into the matter,” followed by an evil laugh. (Kidding)

We knew she was on X and Y’s side. May be she was not supporting them but definitely shared their view.

Gathering courage we presented our case to the Principal, fondly called Hitler. For a change, she treated us gently and immediately called upon the Vice Principal who gave the silly argument that our play was too long.

After a round of discussions, it was decided that our play would be given a slot of 14 minutes as against 20 earlier and that we would have to stage the play in front of the Vice Principal and Ms. Y the same afternoon before the D Day.

But as we were in the VP’s office, the time was further reduced to 12 minutes keeping in mind the entrances and exits on stage. X and Y had a smirk on their faces.

However, the two were bitch slapped minutes later when we completed our play in 10 minutes flat instead of 12.

Our play was given the green signal by the VP and the dejected duo looked on.

In the meantime, Mr. X too got compensated somewhat as he landed a small role in a period play being staged by our arts teacher.

The D Day came. September 5, 2003. Our play was the second after a dance performance.

We started to a lukewarm response but as soon as I entered, I don’t know why the whole auditorium erupted with cheers and hooting. I was being cheered even before I opened my mouth to speak. God knows why.

The decibels rose further as soon is spoke my first line which actually mocked our principal but in a funny, harmless way. Even Hitler had a hearty laugh when I mimicked her.

12 minutes later, the curtains came down to a rousing applause and boy were we charged. I still get goose bumps when I think of that day.

The next item was Mr. X’s play. Being a period act it was ought to be boring unlike our play which was humorous and quirky.

Minutes later, Mr. X entered dressed as a King. He started speaking and the throne on his head fell off as the crowd burst into laughter. Two lines later he exited. That was it. That was the 15 microseconds of fame that Mr. X got.

I still remember juniors came up to me calling me Mr. Principal even weeks later. That was how popular our play and my character became.

However, the story hasn’t ended yet.

The icing on the cake was the evening of Sep 5 when I was supposed to get my first ever spanking new motorcycle—the Hero Honda Karizma, which was the most expensive and beautiful indian bike of that time with everybody drooling over it.

It was trendsetter of sorts as it was the first bike in India to have alloy wheels, digital meter, parking lights, self-start etc.

The black beauty—DL 9 SJ 8935 was brought home on the evening of Sep 5, 2003. I could not have dreamt of a better ending to such a magnificent day.

THE DAY I BECAME A VIP... FOR 20 MINUTES!

As I visited the Red Fort today for my second consecutive Independence Day event, I was reminded of an amusing incident that took place last year. 

I was provided a white Ambassador cab by my office which took me to Lal Quila and from there was supposed to drop me to my office in Green Park. 

As dignitaries like the Prime Minister, Defence minister etc. are the chief guest in the event, the security is obviously tight and all roads leading to Red Fort are shut down. As a result no public transport like buses, autos etc. can ply in the vicinity.

So, as the ceremony got over I sat in the cab and drove out of the venue as hordes of Delhi Police personnel along with general public started leaving on foot to the nearest bus stop—at least a couple of kilometres away. 

We were waiting at a traffic signal when a police constable approached us and requested us to drop him till the Darya Ganj bus stop which was just five minutes away.

As he sat in the car, he enquired as to where was I headed and I promptly replied- Green Park. 

The constable immediately had another request-- instead of dropping him at a bus stop could we drop him at Tilak Marg police station as it would fall on my route.

I obliged.

Now began the fun part. A policeman, seated in the front seat of an Ambassador car which has a reputation of lugging around VIP's with a walkie talkie held upright in his left hand and a 20 something in a polo t shirt in the backseat.

 From traffic policemen manning the intersections to pedestrians and motorists, it was a sight that bemused all.

ALL HAIL THE MINI SUV's

It was started by the Premier Rio, followed by the Mahindra Quanto and now the Ford EcoSport, I am increasingly growing fond of the sub 4 metre SUV’s not because they are value for money, not because they offer the practicality of an SUV at the price of a hatch and not because I am a Duster/Scorpio/Safari troll.

I like them simply because, they are playing a big role in bringing back the trend that has for ages defined SUV’s and given them their character—the tailgate mounted spare wheel!

I know that manufacturers have been forced to take this route due to the length constraints but I am not complaining.

And the launch of EcoSport has made me more ecstatic because for me it is the first proper mini SUV in India unlike the Rio which is a ‘vintage’ product and looks its age or even the Quanto, which has the genes of the ugly Xylo.

The EcoSport’s looks and design has already become the talk of the town and as it goes on to becomes a huge success, other automakers will notice and scrutinize each and every aspect of its success.

And with Indians love for SUV’s only headed north, more and more manufacturers like Honda, Hyundai, Suzuki have pulled up their socks to exploit this niche segment and their mini SUV’s will be having the rear mounted spare wheel too.

However, it’s the category above that which is not bound by this rule that I hope gets influenced by the EcoSport’s success. Maybe the next generation Scorpios/Safaris/Dusters/Terranos and even the Fortuners would be more brute looking.

And it’s not just about the looks, the rear mounted tyres also help in breaking the mass of a SUV’s which tend to have longand flat rear doors. For example take the Quanto and the Xylo and compare their rears, you will get my point.

In fact I have seen some modified Scorpio’s with rear mounted wheels and they looked AWESOME!

I've heard arguments that the wheels make the rear doors heavy but seriously how many of use our rear doors daily? Moreover, it isn't that the tyre weighs a 100 pounds and makes to door unable to operate.

Since childhood, the definition of an SUV for many of us was the good old Maruti Suzuki Gypsy, Mahindra Jeep, Armada, Bolero, Tata Sierra, Sumo, Safari and even the Willy's Jeep with rear mounted wheel always being there hallmark. Though, the Tata Estate was an exception.

Among the premium SUV’s, the Mitsubishi Pajero and Ford Endeavour sported the spare wheel and thankfully continue to do so.

But sadly, after the launch of the hugely popular Mahindra Scorpio, I feel this trend changed somewhat. 

Maybe, its success affected the thinking of the people at not only Mahindra whose future models like the 

Xylo and XUV 5OO had plain rears but also Tata as it removed the tail mounted spares from their Sumo and Safari range.

I mean it is okay for MUV’s like Qualis, Ertiga, Innova, Enjoy to have clean backs. In fact they would look silly with a rear mounted spare. But not SUV’s. After all they should have a distinct character.

BLACKBERRY, THE NEW NOKIA!

When I bought my first Blackberry back in October, 2011, I was sad, heartbroken and cheated. After all I had been a loyal Nokia user since 2002, almost a decade.

In those 10 years I had used around 15 different Nokia phones, right from the basic 5110 to the high end N 95. Though, my love for Nokia was strong, it the Finnish company that had failed me continuously over the several years.

I mean Nokia was never perfect, we all know that and there was a level of understanding that we had developed with its phones. Like the people in the 70’s and 80’s who bought ambassadors and knew that the maintenance would be easy.

Nokia was the kid who looked great but didn’t have the caliber to score above 60-65 percent in exams.

Of the 15 phones I used hardly 2 or 3 served me for a complete year without any glitches while some kept hanging, other had their software corruption, some developed hardware problems  like earphones, mic and keypad etc.

But the fact that there were no other good mobile phone brands limited the choice. 

However, with players like Apple, Blackberry, Samsung, HTC etc. entering the market we were spoilt for choice.

And like many other who broke away free I too decided to finally bid adieu to Nokia after my last phone from the company C7 which too suffered from the same genetic diseases as its predecessors.

Few drops of rain on its touch screen one day, and it stopped working. Surprisingly, the earphone and the mic too went for a toss. I was fed up and bought a curve 9300.

The first 6 months were fine. But after that it too got the Nokia syndrome. It took almost five minutes to start, its battery would get hot while charging, the phone started hanging etc.

It was Déjà vu.

Many of my friends suggested that I buy an Apple. But my girlfriend hated Whatsapp and won’t let go of BBM—our only source of interaction through day.

So, I bought a Bold 4 9900 in November 2013 which was just a shade cheaper the iPhone thinking that BB would have sorted out all the glitches in such an expensive phone.

Sadly, I have got a rude surprise. This is the seventh month of usage and it gets hot and cools down whenever it feels like, it hangs, the spacebar is not working properly etc.

But there is something about BB which I love. I just can’t put my finger on it. I love it more than an Apple. And that is why when the news of the all new Z10 and Q10 came I jumped with joy.

A fan of qwerty keypad I had set my eyes on Q10 from day one and I had heard that it would be launched around 28 to 30,000.

 It was finally launched yesterday at 45,000. Disappointed I was. The last thing BlackBerry needed now was an expensive companion model for the Z 10.

At this price-point, I expect the iPhone or the Galaxy or the One. There’s too much competition out there, from iOS, Android and Windows and BB just doesn’t command the respect it once did.

So, as BB turns into the next Nokia, it’s time to bid adieu to Canada (BB) and get myself either an America (Apple) or South Korea (Samsung) balm to heal my wounds.

  

YOU MAKE THE DAMN MOVE, FIAT!

‘Make the move my friend, make the move’ is the new ad campaign launched recently by Italian car giant Fiat and it has left me in splits.

More than 15 years in the Indian car market and several car launches later, Fiat, the Italian car manufacturer is still lying at the bottom of the sales chart with the lowest market share of 0.19 percent. 

Just two models, Linea and Punto on offer since as long as you can remember. The Grande Punto was launched way back in 2009 and since then no fresh bread has come out of Fiats' oven.  

It's startling to see such lackluster attitude from a major car company in a country like India where brands like Renault have launched half a dozen models in a year's time.  

And still, Fiat wants the customer to 'make the move'. I am forced to say that the ad campaign, as per me is a bit audacious.

And then there are the venerable issues like poor service network, expensive after sales service, and pathetic resale value of the cars and still Fiat wants Indians to 'make the move' towards the brand. Hope you are in splits now as well.

Fiat, over the last decade has made several attempts to somehow increase their market share in the country, sometimes with new car models or by offering discounts or new ‘limited’ edition variants of the existing model.

However, the company is not taking the bull by its horns. The Indian market is very unforgiving and it does not give you many chances. However, Fiat is lucky that it does make good, solid cars and more important, it had some die-hard, loyal fans.

Look at the 1.3 multi jet engine that it developed in collaboration with General Motors. It is popularly known as the ‘national engine’ of India owing to the fact that so many cars under different brands have the 1.3 under their hoods.

It is because of this reason that cars like Uno, Palio and Punto, each of which were launched at a gap of about 5-7 years sold well initially but then costumers were forced to move away due to the above written reasons. This shows that Indians still trust Fiat.

Look at brands like Nissan, Renault, Volkswagen who came to India recently and have become popular brands.

Its ok if Fiat is planning to bring in Chrysler and Jeep marques to the country but what about brand Fiat. It has been chugging along like an old steam engine, huffed and puffed.

Put some coal in the furnace and fire it up Fiat.

Launch at least three to four new models must be added to their portfolio within the next one year including new variants of Punto and Linea.

Get a small hatchback and a mini SUV with diesel hearts and price them below the competition because these two segments are the hottest in the country right now.

And finally, work hard, very hard on the after sales service and bringing down the cost of spare parts.

It will take a lot of effort to get things back on track but mind you, Fiat. Don’t screw it this time or you will keep lying at the bottom of the barrel like you have been for years now.

Take some concrete steps and only then ask us to ‘Make the move’.

PALIKA BAZAR, DELHI'S UNDERGROUND PORN HUB

Notoriously famed for being the capital’s porn hub, Palika Bazar, the underground labyrinth of shops in the heart of Delhi, is witnessing a new clientele as teenaged school and college students are giving way to labourers, rickshaw pullers and daily wage workers, who are thronging the market for cheap and easily accessible porn to satisfy their carnal urges.

I visited the market in Connaught Place, and the shopkeepers admitted that advancements in technology and the decline in the number of ‘affluent’ customers have come as a blessing in disguise for this ‘new breed’ of customers.

As people who have laptops and internet don’t come to the market anymore and it is the labour class which is driving the sales now.

With easy access to internet at homes and on mobile phones, the ‘affluent’ customers, from the middle and upper middle class have declined gradually.

The labourers are not teach-savvy nor do they have the money, so they get all the masala (porn clips) downloaded in their phones, I was informed by a shopkeeper who had a laptop in front of him that had the image of Indo-Canadian adult actress Sunny Leone in a skimpy dress as the background.

“Her clips are the most in demand,” said the man pointing to Leone who gained fame after her appearance in the fifth season of reality show Bigg Boss.

Armed with budget brand cellphones which cost anywhere between Rs. 800 to 2000 with big screens for better video playback and expandable memory, the new category of customers can have access to porn 24*7 without the fuss of owning a CD player and a TV.

Moreover, the thumbnail sized memory card, loaded with hundreds of porn clips or movies, is easy to conceal in a wallet and used when required as against stacks of CD’s and DVD’s.

The shopkeepers can download hundreds of clips on the memory card ranging from 2 GB to 10 GB for anywhere between Rs. 100 to 400 depending on the clips as well as bargaining skills.

Though the categories of the clips vary, the shopkeepers say it is the MMS clips, some real some staged, which are the most favourite. Such clips are often shot in hotel rooms, hostels or cars with or without the consent of the couples in it.

“Kand (scandals) are the most in demand,” said another shop owner with a leering smile on his face who almost snatched my mobile phone from my hand, eager to fill it up with ‘kands’at a ‘decent’ price.

According to police reports, the two men behind the brutal gangrape of a five-year-old in Delhi last week had watched porn in an inebriated state just before kidnapping the child and raping her.

The market, however has not been completely forgotten by its loyal affluent customers, who according to shopkeepers have moved beyond CD’s and are into buying sex toys, most of which are smuggled from China.

Inflatable dolls, dildos, vibrators and even sex gums which claim to work like Viagra are easily available at several shops and all you have to do is ask.

Some shops have even put the toys up on display on glass shelves to cater to the timid customers.

REMEMBERING THE PHERIWALLAHS!

Back when I was growing up, in a world far far away from Facebook, Mobile Phones and Internet. An era when the kids did nit feel the urge to inform the world that they were having a pizza at Domino's or upload pictures clicked by themselves in the lavatories of restaurants.

Those were the days when every kid in the society would come out of his/her home to rollick in the dusty streets and parks for hours desperate to win a game of pitthu, chor police, vish amrit or kho kho. A routine that everyone followed ritually.

Now there has been plenty said and written on how the kids today should venture out more and indulge in physical activities. I agree. But this blog shall focus on another aspect or should I say a perk that played a major role in forcing us to get out of our air cooled homes in the blistering heat of May and June every evening.


And that perk was the combination of -- friends, games, swings and food.

From 5 in the evening till 10 in the night, every day pheriwallahs would visit our streets one after the other at regular intervals offering food, toys and swings at dirt cheap prices.

A ride on a mini merry go round while gorging on a chilled and flavourful barf gola-- was truly heavenly. Add to that the fact that you would pay only Rs. 10 for that only made the deal sweeter.

The kulfi wallah would ring his brass bell hard in the air to let us know that he had arrived while toy seller would blow a plastic trumpet announcing his arrival.



Everyone had their own style.


The fact the chirpy kids and teens occupied the streets and indulged in hours and hours of games and sports only helped us to build an appetite and that's where the pheriwallahs, the saviours came to the rescue.


Kulfi faluda, barf gola, aaloo tikki, dal moth, cotton candy, ice creams, gol gappe, shakargandi and tangy churans... They had something for everybody.


But now, as outdoor spaces shrink with hordes of cars demanding parking space and on top of that the addiction to intenet, TV and high end video games, the pheriwallahs are a hibernated breed in our area.

Another major spoilsport is the opening up of CCD's and McD's in every nook and cranny. And frankly, no kid would like to be seen eating an aaloo tikki sandwich at a redi however, he wont mind getting the same stuff at double the price at McD's. 

That's how our society has evolved.

On seldom occasions I do see kids playing cricket in my street but that's just a one hour affair followed by talks of whether Domino's or McD's should be chosen for dinner.

It seems they just don't have the stamina to play hard like we did... For hours at a stretch.

DJ CUPID!

This incident took place exactly 6 years ago on this very day.

Those were the days; back in 2007, when my lonely heart ached for a partner what with being single for two straight years. 

It was the morning of Feb 14—Valentine’s Day, and I was headed to my college praying to get stuck by cupid, little did I know that as fate would have it, in a few hours I would be playing cupid, helping a school kid whom I had never met before help propose to her crush.

So, it was 10 a.m. and I parked my silver Tata Indica car in one of the back alleys behind my college near Bengali Market. As I got down, I saw a couple of school students from nearby Modern School, Barakhamba Road.

Armed with a huge sack of red rose petals they were making some patterns on the one of the walls of my college by sticking the petals with glue. As the lane used to be deserted even during the day, they carried on 

without being bothered.

I caught a quick glimpse and carried on towards my classroom, wondering what they were upto.

I had three good friends in my class and it was a routine affair for us to play cricket during the one hour lunch break at around 12:30 p.m. in the same back lane.

As, we approached the lane, the boys were done with their work and had made a huge heart made of red rose petals on the yellow wall and written below it was “I love you” followed by the name of a girl.

I was again confused. What’s the point of doing it here, in a back alley? Or does the girl lives in a nearby house? I wondered and opened the boot of my hatch to take out our cricket gear.

It was then that I was approached by one of the boys. He introduced himself and told me that he was going to propose to his crush who was on her way to meet him in that secluded and quiet back lane. The rose heart on the wall was ready and so was an expensive gift but there was still something missing.

A romantic song in the background at the time of the proposal!

Impressed by the lad’s style and devotion, I agreed to play DJ CUPID. He urged me to play a particular song – “pehla yeh pehle pyaar” by Kumar Sanu on full volume and let the boot remain open.

Minutes later, the girl arrived and while my friends were setting up the wickets for a match I was adjusting the bass and treble to get the perfect sound.

The girl was really taken aback as she chuckled in delight with both palms on her cheeks. The boy then went down on one knee, clichéd I know, these school kids I tell you, and proposed to her with a ring.

It was a beautiful sight and the Pioneer base tube, Sony amplifier and speakers in my car were definitely adding the magic touch. The girl said yes and they hugged, not bothered by four strangers (me and my three friends).

 Come to think of it, may be she thought were his new boyfriends’ friends as after all we were the official background music providers.

The boy before leaving thanked us all and left with his lady love. As I sat there sulking and realizing that another member of the single men’s club had left us, I was till alone… waiting for someone.

And that someone did came, minutes later, albeit it was the security guard of our college who followed the blaring sound of Kumar Sanu’s voice only to howl at us, asking kill the music as the neighbours were threatening to call the cops.

When I told him that he could have said the same thing more politely; he replied in a tender tone “bhaiya ji gaana band kar di jiye na please”. And that my friends, was the only sliver of love I got that day. Screw you cupid!  

DISILLUSIONED OR DEMENTED? TAKE YOUR CALL

I read this piece of news today which says: “Hindustan Motors Limited (HML), the makers of the good old Ambassador car in India, is focusing on SUVs and would be launching new SUVs in collaboration with Mitsubishi Motors.”

Well, I could not help but think what is wrong with Mitsubishi-HM after I read this news.

Is it that the low sales have disillusioned them and they are unable to think straight?

The two companies have an alliance for over two decades and are still lying at the bottom of the sales chart. And now they finally wake up, or so it seems, and make a silly announcement that they will bring in more SUV’s.

As there’s no point talking about the HM and Ambassador, I’ll jump to Mitsubishi.

A company which already has 4 SUVs in India – Pajero SFX, Pajero Sport, Montero and Outlander and only one sedan the Cedia (not considering the Evo as its a niche car) is talking about introducing more SUVs.

Of the five models that they sell here, 4 are SUV's and still they are at the bottom of the sales chart. So, how ill launching new SUV’s help them is beyond me.

And I have also read that they are planning to bring in cars like the Mirage and Colt.  

Though there is nothing wrong with new launches, but what’s the point if they are not going to meet the same fate as the Cedia or Outlander or Montero.

The company needs to look at the root cause of the problem. They need a major image makeover. Just because you are planning to launch new models does not mean that the Indian consumer’s interest in the brand will surge overnight.

Drastic steps and a major rejig are the need of the hour.

Mitsubishi immediately needs to break up with Hindustan Motors and pump in money to set up new dealerships and more important, much better after sales service.

Instead of focusing on SUVs, they need to focus on small cars and launch at least a three models—one to counter the Alto/Eon class, the second to compete with the likes of i10/Wagon R and maybe a premium hatch as well, but that can wait.

But the most important thing is to provide cheap spare parts and best after sales service and only then can they expect to enjoy the loyalty of the Indian customer.