HUM SAB ‘FAKE’ HAIN!

With less than three weeks to go, preparations are in overdrive for the Commonwealth games. If the huge government billboards are to be believed ‘Shera is on track’ but what about the Delhites, the majority of whom are crack?

Everyone is talking about the infrastructural development like the metro, stadias, roads and so on. But no one is emphasizing on the most important aspect, that is, the hosts.

The general attitude of Delhites, is very incourteous, to say the least. ‘Atithi Devo Bhava’ is just a colourful poster, adorning the various tourist information centres in the host city.

The harsh reality is that we do not really believe in it. We are all doing a great job of pretending that we are all set for the games. Reality check, like it or not, we are all faking it.

People of Delhi are rude in there behaviour, foul in there language and a bunch of hooligans who are ready to fight or even shoot someone, over a trivial issue like parking space.

If you have a car, it gives you the right to hurl abuses at auto drivers and rickshaw pullers Mind you; the same does not apply to the ‘BIG’ cars belonging to the influential strata of the society.

Living in the age of road rage, you never know which one of his bodyguards might shoot you, if you cut him on the road. Interestingly, the size of a car is directly proportional to the arrogance of the one driving it. So, do not dare to hurt their fragile egos.

Let alone intelligence, we do not even have common sense. We have painted the town red with spats of our beloved benarasi paan.

We believe that passing lewd comments and ogling girls is our birth right and heavens save those poor souls if it’s late night!

When we don’t know how to behave with each other, what the visitors will go through is anybody’s guess. Moreover, they are soft targets for many; hence they are duped and looted.

Auto/taxi drivers, guides, shopkeepers etc. are the masters in the art of fleecing foreigners. On a lighter note, maybe, they have taken upon themselves to get back some of the wealth, the west took from us.

The situation is so grave that females are forced to remain indoors after darkness falls.

They are harassed and molested on streets, public transportation, in markets and almost everywhere else. If a poor girl wears a ’revealing’ dress, there is a strong chance that she’ll even be raped!

The government isn’t able to protect its own citizens, god save the visitors.

Furthermore, we have a disturbing mindset that foreigners are the most sexually active species (which is completely wrong as proven by India’s population) and are always ready for sex. We ogle at foreigners (girls) as if we’ll hypnotize them into having sex with us!

Moving on, at times we become violent unnecessarily. We merrily pelt stone and burn down buses, autos, taxis, dogs, cats etc. to show to the world that we are angry.

Few years back a Haryana roadways bus hit and injured a person gravely. As his friends and family couldn’t get hold of the same bus, they burnt down a DTC bus!

What is the relation between the two? Why are we so dimwitted? We just vent our ire on anything we can lay our hands upon.

Now, just imagine what will happen if a bus carrying the athletes gets trapped in such a situation?

Look at some of our residential colonies. We simply don’t know how to keep our surroundings clean. We have a habit of throwing our garbage out of our windows and balconies.

The government has planned bed and breakfast scheme for the visitors. Just imagine a tourist walking down the street and a bag of garbage lands on his head! ATITHI DEVO BHAVA indeed!

Once a friend asked me, which is the world’s longest toilet? After scratching my head for a few minutes, I gave up.

The tracks of the Indian railways, he answered. I was amused but at the same time was a bit upset. It is a sad reality.

Likewise, the roadsides of Delhi are a big urinal. Residents are forced to paste pictures of gods on their walls, so that passersby don’t urinate there (what a disgusting idea!)

Now imagine athletes coming out of a stadium and someone urinating against the stadium wall. What a relaxing sight for them after a tiring day, right?

But don’t you dare declare the government a failure. To tackle all the above issues, the government was getting special teams to teach ‘manners and etiquettes’ to Delhiites.

But just like many other projects this one also suffered a premature death due to time constraints.

But if it were to be done what a farce it would have been? Was the government expecting crores of people to change their lifestyle in a matter of months?

You can teach a rickshaw puller English, but how will you teach him to take a bath daily? Moreover, did we need an event to teach us the basic manners and courteousness? Should not they be a part of our self-conscience?

Commonwealth games were a bad idea to begin with. In a country where people are dying of hunger, there was no need to spend crores of rupees on an event that is not going to do anything for anyone, except for the organisers.

And the ‘dynamic democracy’ that India is, our politicians are going to make many such offers in order to fill their coffers. If the government was so willing to host the games, much better planning was required.

The government is not leaving any stone unturned in projecting a fake image of Delhi and its people and nobody cares, if we make a fool of ourselves. What if an athlete is humiliated, duped or worse raped? The government is happy patting its back.

The one line that would suffice the government’s attitude would be- ‘Shera is on track’…to hell with all the flak.

Finally, five events where Delhites can surely win a gold:

Boxing (due to road rage)

Javelin throws (a piece of garbage to replace the javelin)

Shooting (in a bar after a brawl)

Wrestling (for parking space)

Long jump (over open manholes and piles of garbage)

A BLOW TO THE TABLEAU

Just a couple of weeks back we celebrated the festival of Janmashtami. Watching all the fun and fervor associated with the festival on the TV across the country, made me nostalgic.

I recalled the days when I was a kid and reveled in the spirit of the festival with same enthusiasm.

Janmashtami was special when I was a kid. It may not be as big as Diwali or even holi, but was close to my heart. One thing and only one thing made it that- the beautiful, handmade Krishna tableau! (Jhaakiya) Just like crackers are to Diwali and gulaals are to holi, tableaux WERE to Janmashtami.

A tableau is a vivid or graphic description of anything. The ones we made back then would basically be a collection of various god’s idols with the main focus on Krishna.

I remember the day before the festival; all the neighbourhood kids would congregate at my place in the evening followed by elaborate planning. First and foremost, the suitable location in the street was identified which always used to be the space adjoining my home’s boundary wall.

Armed with buckets and empty sacks of wheat and rice we would frantically hunt for sand and bricks. The former would form the base of our tableau and the latter, its boundaries.

Under construction houses would be our targets and the goal was to reach and collect the material before the kids from the other blocks. That too in a swift manner so as the chowkidar (guard) is not able to catch us.

After collecting the stuff it would be safely tucked away under the cooler in my verandah and covered with plastic sheets.

The next morning all the kids would again gather at my place and our prized possessions would be taken out. The tableau would officially get under way after it had been decided as to who would bring which god’s idol from his house.

All of us took turns in building as well as spying on the tableaux around our blocks, as to whose was the most striking. The work would be completed by around five in the evening.

For the final touches a cassette player connected with extension wires would be installed inside the tableau churning out one bhajan after another at full volume.

Again, taking turns all of us would take a bath and come back dressed in colourful crisp clothes…except two, a boy and a girl.

The shy duo would be forced to dress as Krishna and Radha and were made to sit on separate chairs right next to the tableau.

By this time the clock had struck six and now began the time to display our whole day’s efforts and also be envious of others work. People from all over the locality in groups would visit each and every street that had a tableau.

Our hardwork would be appreciated by all and the best part was that almost all of them made an offering of a rupee or 50 paisa at all the tableaux- it was definitely the most rewarding thing about the festival.

The blushing Radha Krishna obviously enthralled by their 15 minutes of fame, proudly gave their blessings to people who were their parents age. This process would merrily carry on till a few hours.

Around 8- 8:30, everyone would start having jitters and rush home because of 3 factors.

First, they were hungry and wondered what their mother had cooked for dinner?

Secondly, after dinner the parents would take all of us to the local temples which obviously had tableaux much bigger and spectacular than ours.

Third and the most important factor was, NOBODY wanted to clean up the mess that would be left behind at my gateway, once the tableau was undone.

Only thing they would be interested in was their Krishna idol that they had brought from home.

But, I tried to stop them by arguing that even if one idol is taken away, the tableau would be ruined. This held them back for a few minutes but ultimately, everyone would grab them and dash for their homes.

Ultimately, I along with a couple of my ‘good’ friends did the dirty job.

So, when I take a look around my neighbourhood on the eve of the fest, I realize how things changed so drastically in less than ten years!

It is still celebrated the same way in temples and all with bhajans, raas leelas and dahi handiya all over. But the essence of the festival according to me was those beautiful tableaux built by the children almost all over the city.

One would hardly find a tableau in the city on the eve of Janmashtami today and even if he does it will be in areas dwelled by middle-class or lower middle class.

So, why have the other sections of the society shunned this traditional practice? Well, there are reasons galore.

The kids from well to do families are more technology savvy and would prefer video games and laptops over such things.

They would chat for hours on their laptops but would not like to get his/her clothes soiled just to make a ‘silly’ tableau.

In some localities, the situation is further worsened by the shrinking space on streets due to an influx of parked cars. To find a suitable spot in a street so as it does not disturbs the movement of people on foot or two-wheelers is like finding a river in the middle of a desert.

So, in such a situation, the role of parents becomes very important. They should have an active participation and should encourage the children to indulge in such creative activities.

It is all about initiating, just one of the parents of any kid can gather all of them and inspire and assist them in building a tableau. The kids will just love it and it also encourages teamwork. I can guarantee that.

How am I so sure? Well, that is because similar initiatives were undertaken every year by my father when I was a kid. For me Janmashtami is special because my father made efforts to make it special and a lone reason I am able to write this blog.

So, here’s hoping that the tradition returns with a bang soon and more and more youngsters indulge in such an imaginative and creative activity and build their own interpretation Krishna…with their own hands.